Q+A with Beth Bernstein: The "Why" Behind Her Weddings

What is your best advice for engaged couples?

After basking in the glow of your engagement for a few days or weeks, start having the difficult conversations. Talk about your wedding budget, your guest list, and what’s truly important for you for your wedding day. Don’t give into the “shoulds” or pressure from people to do it their way. This is your wedding and yours alone – not your parents' or future in-laws'. Also remember your “why”. Chances are your why is marrying your best friend, not having “the best wedding ever”. Keep your why in mind with every decision you make.

Who inspires you?

My couples. Our weddings are truly reflective of each couple we work with. I pride myself on not having a signature look so each wedding is curated specifically for the couple and their vision. The common thread of my weddings is that they are elegant, sophisticated, and not over-the-top. I don’t want guests to think, “Oh, I bet Beth Bernstein did this event”. I want them to say, “Wow – this wedding was perfect for Pat and Chris! It was SO THEM!”

What sets your brand or business apart?

While there are many talented, professional, and capable planners (several of whom I call dear friends), I set myself apart by only accepting a handful of clients per year, adhere to a strict "no commissions/kickbacks" policy, and staff my events with only seasoned professionals. I often say "I'm not a teaching hospital” – meaning that I do not want anyone on my team that could not step into my shoes if absolutely necessary. While I mentor and coach upcoming planners, I would never risk having someone "green" on site at a wedding.

And in addition to handling all of the logistics, I also have a heavy hand in the design of the event. I like to think of myself as a Creative Director, harkening back to my advertising roots. I work collaboratively with my clients to develop the overall aesthetic for the event and then create a personalized design deck we refer to as we select flowers, linens, dishware, stationery, etc. throughout the planning journey.

What is the most gratifying part of your business?

My favorite part of a wedding is seeing my couple recess down the aisle at the conclusion of the ceremony. The pure joy on their faces is infectious and the most important part of the day (the only thing that truly matters) is complete: They are married.

A close second is the "room reveal". When every detail is in place for the reception – every fork straightened, every candle lit, every chair tucked in, and every flower perfectly placed – I bring the couple and their parents into the room before guests enter. Their reaction to seeing all of the work we've put into planning right in front of them is priceless.

I cry at every wedding. Not because anything goes wrong (which sometimes it does, but no one else knows because my job is to tend to every detail) but because I have built true friendships with my clients and their happiness is my happiness.

What is your proudest achievement?

I have three that are similar that all happened due to unfortunate circumstances. Sadly, I have had to move three weddings up in a short period of time due to the health of a close family member. These weddings were all planned within one month (sometimes less) from start to finish, as they ended up being very different than the originally planned wedding. In each case, we moved venues, hired new creative partners, and redesigned the wedding from top to bottom. Thankfully, my relationships with my clients and vendors are strong and everyone trusted me to just make it happen. The weddings, while bittersweet, were always filled with love and warmth, and were the most special events I’ve ever been part of. In each case, the ill family member passed away within two months after the wedding, but the memories and photos from the day are even more special to these couples. I could not be prouder of being able to give these families this special memory with a truly meaningful celebration of life and love.